Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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