We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
