considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
