went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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