My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
