Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
