Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
