High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
