Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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