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• (212): View more from New York

  I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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• (214): View more from Texas

  LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I worry about you sometimes...

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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• (845): View more from New York

  he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.

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• (805): View more from California

  I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.

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• (631): View more from New York

  We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.

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