I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
