Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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