I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize