But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
