how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
