One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
