Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
