I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
