K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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