dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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