So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
