this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
