whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize