Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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