but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
