Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
