i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
