U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
