Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
