i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What changed your mind?
Being sober
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
