She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
