writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
