bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
