Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
