Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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