cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just puked most of my soul out..
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