He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
