I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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