i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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