How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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