whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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