Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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