You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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