How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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