The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
