It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
