just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
