Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
