Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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