i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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