he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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