There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
