I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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