You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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