Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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