At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
