I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
