I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
