oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
too bad you live with your parents still
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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