quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
