but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
