It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
