Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
